Archive for August, 2014

Learning to Let Go

I never asked much out of this life. It’s not as though I expect to get everything I want. Despite that, it’s still a tough lesson for me to deal with especially in regards to relationships. And lately, it’s something I’m having to deal with in spades. But the reality of the matter is, I’m more disappointed n myself for not being able to handle the rejection and reality of the matter, even though I know better. Regardless of whatever happens in a relationship, I try to pride myself on not being a selfish person. But i have noticed when things haven’t gone in a direction I want, I can hold some resentment and hurt. This is a natural response but holding onto it is not natural, well it’s not healthy anyhow.  I think the worst thing people can do is remain in relationships in which they aren’t suited for each other. Yet people do it for numerous reasons, many of which don’t make sense or aren’t entirely valid. In the case of children, it’s especially harmful and children can pick up on that toxicity. That said, I really do wish that my former partners are happier, even if it isn’t with me.  My moody, stoic demeanor may say otherwise, but I really do. I suppose what really perplexes me is how easily other seem to move on. Part of me feels a bit resentful of how it appears so easily some people are able to move on, as if the time together is a relief to be over with. I suppose that is what hurts the most in some ways; because when the situation were reversed, they have no visceral reaction or apparent feeling as I do.  But on the plus side, I am able t recognize these things as learning experiences and thankful for time. And more over, there are no hard feelings or resentments.  So yea, maybe it does take me a bit more time to lick my wounds as opposed to others but I still manage to learn and get by. And quite honestly, I can’t complain about that.

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